Romantic and sexual relationships stay healthy and vibrant and sexy because both sides are equally attracted and involved. We all know we can kill a new flirtation with someone we're attracted to by showing too much interest and being too available, but we forget the same kind of thing can happen to a relationship already in the works. When you start showing jealousy to your romantic partner, you show your insecurity and fear. You're not trusting in their attraction to you, so you begin to get sad and withdrawn, or mean and shrewish. Oh sure, a little bit of jealousy shows you care – in very small amount – but when jealousy because a default setting you throw the whole dynamic of your relationship off. Your significant other starts to dread you.
Power in romantic and sexual relationships comes from owning that you're totally desirable, that's when you're truly yourself and fun and interesting and sexy.
When the green-eyed monster rears it's head (whether you know it's over a silly situation, or a possibly serious one - hang in there, I'll get to what to do in that case below) focus on yourself. Sit with the raw uncomfortable energy until you can catch your breath. Breath slowly and deeply until you calm down. And once the energy dissipates enough for you to take control of yourself decide right there and then that you're going to do something nice for yourself, something positive for yourself. No, I don't mean to go out and eat your way through a pint of your favorite cookie dough ice cream, I mean for you do something for yourself that will lift your own spirit. Listen to your favorite cd, read your favorite book, or take yourself off to a movie (or rent an old favorite with a particularly hot hero). Do whatever you can to get away from chewing over negative thoughts and doubts and move into a better headspace.
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